Feeding you...

So you are a breastfed baby. You and I did great from the start. I was very determined that this was something that meant a lot to me for your health, well-being, and our bonding. I absolutely love doing it too. It doesn't even phase me really to get up that often in the night. Lately you are sleeping for longer periods and that has actually been hard on me because you were on a very great schedule already and now you and I are relearning it again. I suppose that will go on and on. So I finally dug in and opened the breast pump box, knowing this is the week to start a bottle to get you used to it so that Mom can have time away eventually to go back to work and do personal things eventually. So yesterday, sitting and watching my milk flow into a container that was not you, I sat there astounded, again,  by my sweet little body and what it's capable of. I considered that part of your Dad's Father's Day present yesterday. Your Da has been so amazing while I'm breast feeding you, always bringing you over to me but with slight jealousy. He's stated so many times that he wishes he could feed you and take care of you in that respect. I think that's so beautiful and honorable. So, this morning he got my milk out of the fridge, heated it up while cradling you, I went outside and he sat down in the rocker. You're such a champ with everything Haydin. You took that bottle and made your Da so happy. Later I came in as you were finished and I was so heartbroken and yet happy. It was like loosing a part of you and I already. Like you were growing up and away from me. I know we are continueing to breastfeed 90% of the time, I know you still need me, I know that sharing your love and that special bonding time with your Father is beneficial to all of us... but still. My heart was so twisted. Anyway, I'm so glad it went well. I'm excited to do it again and again, to see you grow healthy regardless of feeding method. 

Course, this all ended with you spitting it all back up on Da...

You had already done the same to me first thing in the morning. 

Silly boy.