7 months...

I feel like this is going to be gone before I know it. I've reached a breaking point several times lately. While nursing, putting you down, the constant attending to you sleeping. I just keep reminding myself though there will be a point when you don't need me like this anymore. There will be days when I look back on this time and know it was much easier. And there are moments when I remind myself that even when things are hard they are now things I know so well and I know how to handle them even if I'm exhausted. Everything you do I'm so proud of. Every-time I smell your hair/head I get swooney. Then you crack a smile and my heart is lost. Even in the toughest moments I find reserves I thought were long diminished. You challenge me. You expand me. You teach me so much every day. 

Great Realization...

I'm thrilled to report that almost 7 months in I feel really great about this gig as your Mamma. I mean I don't feel scared or intimidated by it anymore. I know there are lots of decisions ahead of us, lots of moments when I will question my choices, options, statements, emotions, resolve, but never will I doubt myself as a good Mom. At least I hope not to. I hope to always remind myself that I'm so filled with love for you; I genuinely regard ensuring  your physical, mental, and emotional health my top priority in life.  I also strive to keep in mind not to compare you with other children. As with every parent there is exaggeration involved so it's pointless anyway. You are unique and special, and so am I as your Mom. I can't wait to grow into this role more!

Sniffles...

So you are sick for the first time. A slight cold. At least we think so. Runny nose, rather cranky and horse voice. Course you had a night of crying when this all occurred so it's kinda like the chicken and the egg thing. Which one caused what? Anyway, I can tell you aren't feeling good and it just sucks I can't fix you right away. Your Da and I also have colds. I think it's all not helped by us getting so dried-out at night. I'm going to set up the humidifier tonight in our room. In fact, I best go do that right now because you keep rousing. I'm sorry you're sick sweet babe. 

Thanksgiving...

I'm certain I can speak for your Da on this account by saying we are most thankful for you this year, and for what you have meant to our family as a whole. Both your Daddy and I get quite emotional together, thanking each other for being such a great spouse, becoming a parent. You father is a wonderful man for many reasons, but one I admire and cherish is his ability to verbalize his love for me, and now you. He seems to be so happy with where he is in life right now. I'm thankful for a greater sense of family than I ever had before. I'm thankful to know myself better than I thought I could. I'm thankful your father and I have the opportunity to have our love grow in new and boundless ways. I'm thankful for the challenges, the rewards, all the learning, all the laughter. I'm thankful for you in ways that words can never describe. I'm astounded that we are just 6.5 months into this journey together. 

Calling all Holidays...

We are now entering the time of year I love most. Your Uncle Craig arrives tonight to join us for Thanks-giving this week. As usual we will have lots of friends over. I'm so excited to introduce you to smells, sounds, sights of things that will continually illicit joy in your heart for years to come. Your Nana did such an amazing job giving me a never-ending supply of joyous memories to look back on as a kid... but I would have to say the Spirit of this season that was breathed into us I truly treasure. Already I have taken you to stores on days when we have nothing else to do, just to play in the Christmas isles. To see your fascination with bows, snow globes, jingle bells, and ornaments is so glorious for me to watch. I totally teared up waiting in line downtown with you for your first encounter of Santa because my heart felt so connected to my Mom and her feelings towards him... and then I realized I'm a mom too! I love singing you Christmas carols also. They have always been some of my favorite songs and I'm sure years from now you will still get sprinklings of Christmas songs year-round as lullabies.

You leaf me laughing...

You and I had the best time together yesterday. We went to a little girl's birthday party, nothing noteworthy there, in fact you slept through some of it and then the rest was just too crazy for your momma to stand very long. So you and I went out into the cold, windblown yard and happened into a pile of leaves. Wet and smelling of decomposition, we plopped down right in the middle of them. I threw them in the air around us, held up handfuls and let the wind pull them free, shook my hands in them to make lots of rustling noises and you just laughed and laughed. You loved it. Sitting on my lap you reached forward to get your own hands in the action, flapping both arms making the leaves "crunch" on your own. Means it will be even more exciting to you next fall. 

Trick or Treat?

Totally a treat... this week, that is. Your Nana has been here and it's been a joy to see how much she loves you and wants to be with you. That is one of the best gifts I could've gotten, seeing my Mother in love with you. She made you the BEST costume, a little dragon. We were all going to dress up, but since you would have stolen the show anyway, we did not. Everywhere we went people "Oh-ed and Ah-ed" about you. People went out of their way to come over and admire you, take pictures of you, talk to you. You were so accommodating too, just as sweet as can be to all these strangers coming up to you. Also, big news!, your first tooth poked through on Halloween day. I'm thankful now that I know why you've been kinda off this past week. I imagine it's alot of new and not-so-great feelings in your small mouth. I'm also nervous of the teeth to come. It's funny, it made me sad momentarily since I love your smile "as is" and felt like "oh, no! he's growing up so fast already". Still, it's rewarding to see you progress. We were going to start you on sweet potatoes for your first solid food while Nana was here but with the new tooth going on I think we will wait until you are more settled with it. I'm sooooo tired. I'm going to grab you outta your crib and head to bed as we are the only two here and I can't wait to curl up with you. 

Lots of "milestones"...

You have just been taking on and achieving so many things I read you are supposed to be doing. Makes me wonder about babies all over the world, if they all do roughly the same things regardless of culture. So, you are getting better and better with rolling over, front to back is no problem and lighting fast, you barely even will stay on your tummy now. I've only seen you go back to front twice but am certain as soon as you really discover that you can get anywhere by doing this over and over, there will be no stopping you. You are practicing sitting lots but much prefer to stand actually. You have very strong legs and we only have to slightly hook our hands under your ams to keep you from leaning but it's all your strength keeping you upright. Your feet have finally made it to your mouth. Passing toys between your hands constantly and then studying your fingers in depth. Learning the "drop the toy over the side and Mom will pick it up" game. Two days ago blowing bubbles. Just today a weird open and closing of your mouth for a smacking/popping effect. Jibber-jabbering at some amazingly loud levels. You know what I mean when I say "shake it" and you have a rattle in hand. Definitely know the sound of water and love watching it trickle. And no matter how deep of sleep you love to flip yourself my way so we cuddle. 

Momma's Hair

You have taken a fondness to dancing your hands through my hair when you are sleepy or fussy. Yes, you also pull it on occasions (I've lost alot of hair this way already). Mainly you just like to swish your hand through it as you drift off or you find it to comfort you when you are fussy while sleeping. It's precious. 

What a beautiful day!...

We went to Hickory Nut Farm out by Bat Cave ( yes, that's a place) with Colleen and Christopher. It was one of those wonderful first fall days, sunny and warm yet crisp in the shade. All the smells of the countryside I miss so much were present and I was thrilled to think of you drinking them in. There were tons of animals for you to see, lots of amazing apples, and you went to the pumpkin patch for your very first pumpkin (which I just got done carving). I had so much fun with you I could've stayed all day. I'm excited already to go back next year when you will run around and think it's all so amazing.