Pillows and Pacifiers...

We cuddle all night together. When you first go down to sleep you have your paci but by the time we are snuggling you don't want it anymore. So I tuck it under my pillow. It was the sweetest feeling the first time I did it. Like, if someone searched my home they would find that tucked away. Almost like a good luck, sweet dreams token. :) How interesting the changes in my world. 

Time flying...

Time is flying by and I find myself already looking back and saying "remember when?" to your Da. This week has been full of new things with you. You have become so vocal! All the info I read says this is when you will begin "cooing"... lol, well, sweet child, you don't coo. You do this high-pitched squealy thing. Apparently your Father did the same thing. It's loud and I LOVE it! Also this week, you have found your feet with your hands. You had been looking at them for awhile and had been holding your knees to "help me" on the changing table. Now you can grab your left foot/toes and hold on to it/them. I think this really excites you. The only time you get your paci is when it's time for a nap or bed. I give it to you to soothe you and signal "calm time". Now you are trying to learn to suck your thumb, which I'm fine with and all for! Thumbs don't fall on the floor repeatedly. Still, the only time you try this is when you are supposed to be falling asleep and you take out your paci, suck on your hands, play with the paci, suck on your fingers some more, over and over so now it's something that's keeping you up. I'm torn because you are doing so great on your naps and bedtime that I really keep pushing the paci. Hopefully you'll get the hang of your thumb during playtime soon and then we can just rely on that. Most of your beautiful dark hair is gone. You are increasingly blonde, though not the almost snow white that I was, but that may still happen. I'm so excited your Nana is coming for Halloween and making you a costume! You are to be a little dragon this year! lol. Your dad and I had some "tacky" ideas, but Nana didn't want to make those costumes. Anyway, I'm even more excited because she's supposed to bring all of Uncle Christopher's and mine photos of us growing up! I'll have a whole new perspective to look at them with. We are finally going to put them all in albums and then later (if she'll let me keep them) I can scan them all.  That is one thing to know about me... I love photos. You laugh tons now and especially with your Da as he can get pretty silly. You and I have had to sleep in the Blue Room a couple nights since you've been waking around 5 and want to cry and then play. But I get you back to sleep, after MUCH dancing and "shush-ing" and we crash in there. Let's see, oh! yesterday was the first day of Autumn and I'm so excited because I love fall and the Seasonal celebrations that will soon begin! You are napping and I'm going to play online now! I love you Haydin Fischer. 

Being a Mommy...

It is such a joy to have joined a new tribe. 

One that really has meaning.

One that is so worthwhile. 

I feel so bonded to all the moms out there. 

To this glorious task of loving so deep. 

I don't know what I would have done with out you in my life. 

I would have never fully experienced or embraced life.

I love you more and more with each passing moment. 

Each nano-second. 

Your Daddy...

Your father is such an amazing man. I've never seen someone so in love with their son. He's just over-the-moon for you. He can make you smile like no other. We just got back from your first camping trip and Da carried you around in the sling and you two were quite the pair. He is so excited for all the great outdoorsie stuff he'll get to introduce you to and all the amazing places we will go as a family. He's so good to the both of us and I just want you to know son, he thinks you are the best thing that ever happened to him... 

The best EVER!...

Yesterday it was rainy and blustery, my favorite weather. Your Daddy was off work. We all had such a nice day together. You and I went and met a new group: Asheville Mommies and had so much fun. There were lots of babies your age including a little girl born the same day as you and at the same hospital. Anyway, you were pretty fussy all afternoon and I finally turned you over to your Dad and decided I would take a bath. With all the rain Dad realized our drains outside (which weren't put in correctly) were going to clog and overflow again, when he laid you down you cried and so I was going to cut my bath short (only the second one I've had since you were born, and I definitely needed to relax). Before I knew it you were in the tub with me while Dad ran out into the storm.

Oh Haydin, it was the best bath I have ever taken and it was so amazing to experience your first big boy bath really with you. The tub is super deep and so I propped my knees up and you sat on my belly leaning back on my legs at first. Then you clearly were curious and wanted to sit up. So you sat on my belly, with legs on both sides kicking, and I held under your arms which left them to splash vigorously! We had the yellow ducky in there too and he bobbed between us and you captured him and put him in your mouth. Bounced you up and down in the water and then held you chest down to float, and zoom, you little butt floated up and you really kicked your legs! I think in that position it was a bit "oh my gosh, what's happening" so I put you back on my belly to sit. I could have stayed in there for ever with you. I can't wait to do it again and again. 

Sneaking...

I sneak sniffs of you while you sleep. If we aren't napping together, which is rare since you find it hard to nap without your momma, I go in to check you and always have to hover my nose around your neck or head and sniff...sniff...sniff. Ahhhhh! It's my favorite smell in the whole wide world. Indeed. 

KaThunk...

Sometimes I get little surprises from you. Today we were laying in bed for our nap and I had my hand on your chest and there went your little heart, KaThunk, KaThunk, and I was so excited and blown away. Granted these are things that are always going on but as with anything that is constant, we sometimes forget about them. I was so happy to feel your strong, healthy heart beating, feel your chest rise and fall with sturdy breaths. What a joy. What a wonder. 

Stroller Club...

So you and I took a very nice walk yesterday. We went to the lake right by the house, Enka Lake/Biltmore Lake. It was a bit rough on you in the stroller though you didn't seem to mind, I was just worrying that it was bouncing you too much. The paths were all mulch or sand and the stroller we have for you isn't one of those jogging/all-terrain deals. So there were some times it was hard for me but it gave me a great work out. So there was a point were I was just struck with " I'm almost 30, I'm pushing a stroller, the stroller has MY son in it, when did all this happen?" Seems my life has flown by so quick up to this point now. Feels like it was yesterday I was a kid enjoying climbing in my lemon tree in California. Or playing in the fields and tending to the goats in Ohio. Even all my crazy antics through high school seems not so long ago. I looked at you there sleeping and it was the happiest I've been yet... through any point in my life. I felt so at peace. I'm enjoying this Motherhood deal. ;) 

Your first hike...

So we went on our first hike together when we had some company in from out of town. I wore you in the Moby Wrap and was worried you would get too hot and I'd have to pull you out and just carry you over my shoulder. However, you just loved the walking momentum and then you began to look around and pay attention. I was so thrilled for you to smell Pisgah. It has this very amazing smell that I've always loved and isn't replicated anywhere else. So we drove up on the Parkway and went to Devil's Courthouse. The first time I was there I was 15. "Long before you were a glimmer in my eye". It was one place, among many, that sang to my heart and told me I belong here in these mountains. It felt so right having you up there. My footsteps treading the same path as so long ago yet with my son. How amazing. I'm sure over time you and I will do that same hike, many times. What conversations will we have on the journey? Will you sit up there and contemplate the greatness of the world, as I do? Will your heart be struck with such happiness? I say so many prayers for you, wherever we go Haydin. Saying prayers from that height makes them feel closer to the source in a way. 

Singing in the Shower...

So now all three of us have taken a shower together twice. Since you are small and slippery it takes two of us, one to hold you and one to wash you. But it is so much fun. You got water in your face last night more than you've ever had and you were so great about it. No fussing at all. You're just curious and like to study things. I think you liked the part where I just held you and faced you to the water stream and let it hit your feet, but because you watched all the sparkly things falling. The way the light is in there it made it really neat for you. Also we sang and it's really echo-y. Someday you will run around in there with me and it will be so much fun!